February 2012
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This is just a thing.
Instead of self harm, I just hold a piece of ice in my hand. It actually sortof works.
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Sometimes it’s scary to get better.
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I just want to stay home today.
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I was laying in bed and my bones ached and I thought, “why do my bones hurt?”.
I decided they’re just sad.
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Listen
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This week has made me nauseas and numb and all sorts of other crazy feelings. I don’t care if they are mutually exclusive.
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I’m living a movie right now. A movie I don’t really want to live, but have to. My life doesn’t seem like my life. I think Wes Anderson is behind some of this shit.
Possibly Sofia Coppola.
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I don’t like being one of those people that’s like, “Oh, why didn’t you call/text me back? Bla bla bla.”
But why didn’t you call/text me back? Bla bla bla.
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“Love is like breathing, you take it in and let it out.”
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I finally got my Wreck This Journal. So far I’ve done 5 pages. I’ll post the ones I really like along the way. I would do it now, but I’ll want to scan it and the scanner is hooked up to another computer and then I have to email myself and bla bla bla.
But I seriously recommend one. It creates creativity.
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This has been in my head.
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It’s funny how easily I can write romance without feeling a thing.
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It’s hard to describe how depression and anxiety keep me from saying what I want. It’s like when you’re in bed and exhausted, but you want a drink of water. So you insist to yourself you’re going to get up and get a glass, but you stay down. Then you do it again. And again. Until eventually you fall back asleep.
Except it’s worse, because I hear myself saying...
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“It’s odd how sleeplessness, even of a modified kind, has the power to...”
– Virginia Woolf
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January 2012
54 posts
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What would I do without you, tea? Or you, my dear Netflix?
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Let’s set the world on fire. We can burn...
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“Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by his...”
– Virginia Woolf
Anonymous asked: My dream is to have someone love me. I know that's selfish, but I've always ached to know what its like to have someone look at me and like what they see. To not be disappointed in me. To feel as though I don't need any fixing. Maybe I'm selfish but I can't change the longing inside of me to not walk this earth alone.
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You Guys...
Seriously, you guys are amazing people with your amazing dreams for the future… or present.
A lot of you want to be happy.
A LOT of you want to help people in some way (psht, amazing).
Climb mountains, sing, have a family, help find local foods in places that have starving people (I loved that one), help kids that need it, help kids with depression.
There were more, but, just. What...
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“Being alone has nothing to do with how many people are around.”
– Richard Yates (Revolutionary Road)
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Yes.
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I’m six again and I’m trying to keep up with my cousin. My feet are pounding on the asphalt in time with my breath. I close my eyes and feel as if I have a chance, because I’m running faster than I ever have. But I open my eyes and I’m further behind than I was before and he’s not slowing down.
I’m going backwards and it’s all I can do to not stop and sit...
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Tell me your dream?
Either reply to this or in my ask if it’s anonymous.
Why? I don’t know. Tell me more than one if you want. We could make a giant multi-person bucket list.
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“She thought it would be fun to try photography, she thought it would be fun to...”
millieis asked: i love your blog, that last post you just did was really really lovely and meant alot, we realising the same things about life :)
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Chris: Fresh lettuce is my all-time favorite food. What's your favorite food?
Andy: Oh, I take Skittles and I put it between two Starbursts. Know what I call it?
Chris: Skittle Sandwich?
Andy: That's pretty good. No, I call it Andy's Mouth Surprise.
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To be honest, I’m scared. I’m scared of myself. Most are afraid when someone threatens them, when someone knows their deepest secrets, when someone is ready to take those secrets and hit below the belt. But it’s scariest when that person is yourself. It is absolutely terrifying when you are the one who hates you the most.
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